"This my deal tobbaccophiles, is no longer an option. In light of certain and final DOOM, I do not offer any solutions nor salvation. I offer you escapism in the form of a value premium cigar. Place gingerly into your suck-hole, ignite and consume. Allow yourself to drift away from the looming clouds of nothingness and psychologically emancipate yourself, at least for a moment – for a price that is more than tangible. You’re welcome."